We’re in Prithviraj Market, Delhi, visiting Mirajuddin, the best mutton shop I’ve ever seen. I proceed to place the order. The young man sitting at the counter outside the shop says, “Rajdeep Bhai has not come?” I say he is coming. The owner, wiping his cutting board, asks, “And where is Bhaijaan?” I reply, I am coming. Then he comes and says greetings to everyone. They all welcome him and begin animated conversations. This process is repeated outside the store with other employees and known patrons. He goes there often and everyone knows him. This is the same man who didn’t know how to say ‘Salaam’ when we got married 14 years ago. He is now “closer, closer Muslim”, as our Mirajuddin friend praises him.The ‘Love Jihad’ propaganda that keeps appearing in news cycles says that Hindu women are lured away by scheming Muslim men. They forget Muslim women. Maybe they are also doing love jihad? I can give many examples where Muslim women have inspired their husbands and families towards Islamic traditions while adopting Hindu customs as part of shared family life.My Afghan friend is married to a Sharma from Delhi. They met in Berlin and returned to India. Together they run an Afghan Center at the university, which provides a space for the Afghan people to showcase their talents, food and culture. When his son’s school did not grant holiday on Eid, the father told the principal, “My son is half Muslim. He will stay at home and celebrate the festival with the family.”An Indonesian friend is married to a Tamil Brahmin colleague. She fasts the entire month of Ramzan and people come to her house for Iftar. She once went home with her 13-year-old son during the fasting month. There on the first morning he realized that everyone was up for Sehri and he started his fast early in the morning. No one woke him up because they thought he was not used to it. He became upset and asked, “Why? Am I not part of this family?” He did not eat or drink anything and broke his fast in the evening along with everyone else. After this, he fasted during his stay in Jakarta. Another notable friend, who married his Assamese Muslim girlfriend, named their daughter Inara, which means shine in Arabic. She bears her father’s as well as her mother’s surname and is called ‘Inara Syed Mahapatra’. Finally, my beautiful colleague Nikhat recently had her Nikah and destination wedding in Türkiye. Her Greek partner has learned namaz, kalma and suras to win the hearts of his family in Lucknow.The patriarchal mindset believes that the man’s side is the winning side and that women will lose their identity, religion and customs in interfaith marriages. But when I see interfaith couples around me, this is not true. Women shape their families in decisive ways and have created a blend of Indo-Islamic-Hindu home cultures.They did this by accommodating the belief systems of both their religions. My in-laws do puja for housewarming, put lemon on the car and look for auspicious dates for the journey. To me, this is superstition; This is normal for them. Yet both parties accept each other, enjoying family gatherings and children’s play.My Indonesian friend makes sambar and payasam for her vegetarian husband. The Ganesh idol which his mother-in-law used to worship in Tamil Nadu is now in his house. My Afghani friend along with her husband abstains from meat on Hindu festivals and participates in all family rituals. She also celebrates Eid with all of them. The colleague from Lucknow has merged with her Greek family. She visits them every summer and appreciates their food, customs and culture. As far as baby Inara is concerned, she is going to learn Karl Marx and Foucault before she even hears about Hinduism or Islam.Love never gets old. Every generation sees it afresh and lives it openly. At a time of worldwide war, this is the only solace. Some scared groups may try to harm our lifestyle by calling it love jihad etc. But we are not the aberration that society tolerates, nor are we the exotic, strange species that others find unique. We are the dream of the India that our ancestors saw on the midnight of August 15, 1947. We are the family that Mahatma Phule envisioned in his poem “Christ, Mohammed, Mang, Brahmnaasi, Dharave Potasi, Bandhu Pari” (Translation: Whether they are followers of Jesus Christ or Mohammed, or belong to the Mang or Brahmin community – one should embrace them all with one’s heart like a brother.) As humanity expands, our tribe will grow.Samina Dalwai is a law professor. The name of her upcoming book is ‘Love Jihad: A Feminist Retelling’.