Manoj Bajpayee has revealed that he has considered quitting acting several times over the past decade, admitting that the emotional burden of playing complex characters often leaves a lasting impact on him. During a recent conversation, the actor also opened up about ageing, mortality and the sacrifices that come in the pursuit of success.

‘For about 10 years I was feeling like quitting my job’

Speaking about his relationship with acting, Manoj admitted that the thought of leaving this profession came to his mind again and again.He told Ranveer Allahabadia, “To tell you the truth, for almost 10 years now and then I feel like leaving. But sometimes a role comes, then I leave.”The actor stressed that he did not want to continue working under compulsion. “I don’t want to do acting as a compulsion that I have to take food and bread at home. I want to act. If there is a character, it will be a lot of fun to play it.”Interestingly, Bajpayee revealed that after years of playing intense, psychologically demanding roles, he is now gravitating towards lighter, commercial entertainers.He said, “Nowadays, I feel like doing commercial films… tremendous slapstick comedy, nonsense comedy. Do a little village-van pe nacho. Ghar se koi tyari karke aana hai. Just say goodbye to the family and have a good time on the set,” he said, calling it an “escape” from the kind of work he has been doing.

‘Black characters have an impact’

Bajpayee admitted that some darkness from films like Gali Guliyan, Aligarh and Bhonsle still remained within him.He said, “Sometimes I feel the darkness that I feel mentally. Sometimes I know exactly where it’s coming from. Comes from the streets, comes from Aligarh, comes from Bhonsle.”The actor said that such roles often lead to intense mood swings and emotional exhaustion, making spirituality an important foundation in his life.

‘You are heading towards your grave’

The conversation later turned philosophical as Bajpayee reflected on aging and death.He said, “Whether I look forward to it or not, I have to come to terms with the one thing that is constantly changing. Life. You are headed toward your grave, toward your funeral pyre.”The actor said that aging has become increasingly noticeable in everyday life.He shared, “All the cells in my body are aging. I feel it when I go up the stairs, I feel it when I go down the stairs.”According to Bajpayee, death is an inevitability that people should learn to accept rather than fear.“That you have to go. That has to go. What is there to think about that? You must know it and try to adjust to it.”

Looking back at the cost of success

Bajpayee also reflected on the sacrifices he made while pursuing his ambitions, particularly the time he spent with his parents.When asked if the struggle was worth it, he said, “Materially, yes,” he said, “but I lost a lot of things.”The actor recalled spending most of his life away from home – first in boarding school, then in Delhi and later in Mumbai, which created distance between him and his parents.He said, “Sometimes I feel, man, I wish I could have had some more time with my dad. We could have understood each other better. Yes, with my mother we could have sorted out our personal issues.”Although he acknowledged that success gave him the freedom to choose his work, he admitted that not every sacrifice seemed worthwhile in hindsight.Bajpayee said, “After materialistic fulfillment, when you look back, it seems that everything was not worth it.”